Before we begin, a shameless product placement plug.
I love flashlights, I have a few. It’s inevitable with a name like mine. Lucifer means “lightbringer”. But this guy right here is my go-to, light shedding every day carry. All those “super bright” led bullshit lights are usually 100 lumens at best. This is 1500 Lumens, more that bright enough to cast light at all those things lurking in the shadows. Now on to story time.
As it came to pass, the people of The Realm were shrouded in darkness. As time went on the Darkness got thicker and deeper. Borderline Vantablack, but due to patent infringement allegations it couldn’t get any darker.
The people cried out to the Government. “save us from the darkness, we can’t see who or what is being done to us. We feel violated, we think”
But the Government did what it does. Dithered and dallied, hemmed and hawwed, threw money into the darkness and blamed everyone else for the darkness and why they couldn’t dispel the darkness.
The Government purchased equipment. Big huge expensive complicated equipment. Equipment that would illuminate the entire Realm! But it never worked well and broke down more than it didn’t. More suggested machines more bickering about whose equipment was better to enlighten the world.
More darkness, more shadows, no progress no light.
We the People lamented their fate. At least everyone was in the darkness. Or where they? Rumors eventually started to seep down to We the People that some people were only partially in the Darkness. Wtf?
Once day a strange character showed up in poorer part of The Realm. He began to pass out very powerful, inexpensive sources of light to everyone. Soon all We the People had the power to dispel the Darkness in the palm of their hand. Individually and alone We the People only have the power to light up the area right around us. But together We the People had the power to cast aside shadows and dispel the darkness!
And that’s exactly what they did. And what did they find? Not big complicated machines to light up the world. But darkness machines aimed directly at We the People! The people revolted and destroyed the Machines of Darkness and the Realm was brightened.
But many problems were more evident in the light. There was much work to.
As his parting remarks to The Realm the strange character now known as LuciferJenkins said unto We the People.
“Let there be a light show!”
And there was.
And it was beyond good. It was frikkin’ amazing, man.
We the F%#n' People 